What I Did This Summer When My Family Went on a Vacation for a Week Without Me

This was the first time ever I was home alone for a whole week without my family.
P A A A R R R T T T Y Y Y Y ! ! ! ?

No.
Nope.
Truth be  told...
It felt weird.

Seriously...
I woke up early and I worked late.
I did dishes, laundry and vacuumed.
I cleaned a bathroom.
I killed 2 cockroaches.
I went grocery shopping.
I talked to myself alot.
I skipped a couple meals and went to bed early.
I napped after work.
I binge watched "Scrubs".
I did slow cook a pork tenderloin with sausage and lived off nothing but BBQ pulled pork sausage grinders for a few days.
I then ate salads to feel less guilty.
I played 1 round of disc golf. That was it.

I missed my wife and my boys like a stupid sappy donkey boy scout.
Pathetic, I say.
I thought I was a MAN!

So....

My last night.... in an effort to live up to everyone's high expectations of my "bachelor week" I completed the following:

I walked around the apartment naked. FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.
I drank a beer in the shower.
I left the toilet seat up.
In BOTH bathrooms.
I made myself burp loudly.
I did that thing where you see how long of a spit you can make, and then suck it back up.
I
I
I
.
.
.
Geez. Party on, Rock Star. Sigh.

I have totally learned it is one thing to be gone and miss them like crazy, but it's a whole nother thing to be HOME and miss them like crazy.

OK, I might belch, scratch and fart (loudly and smile) a time or two more before they get home, but I hope it's okay to say this and still be a man...

"I missed my family."

.