In the Neighborhood

I just finished reading In The Neighborhood: The Search for Community on an American Street, by Peter Lovenheim.

Amazon.com states:

"Based on a popular New York Times Op-Ed piece, this is the quirky, heartfelt account of one man's quest to meet his neighbors-and find a sense of community.

Journalist and author Peter Lovenheim has lived on the same street in suburban Rochester, NY, most of his life. But it was only after a brutal murder-suicide rocked the community that he was struck by a fact of modern life in this comfortable enclave: no one knew anyone else.

Thus begins Peter's search to meet and get to know his neighbors. An inquisitive person, he does more than just introduce himself. He asks, ever so politely, if he can sleep over.

In this smart, engaging, and deeply felt book, Lovenheim takes readers inside the homes, minds, and hearts of his neighbors and asks a thought-provoking question: do neighborhoods matter-and is something lost when we live among strangers?"

 

Ok, yeah, the whole sleepover thing is kinda creepy. Maybe a ploy to grab attention and sell more books? I'm not sure, but it really didn't come across as an overly major factor in the book either.

 

But...

I loved the premise of what the author was questioning. And it is heartfelt.

 

More importantly, it questions the reality of our own relationships, within our own lives.

 

Three beers into this book and you want to bake banana bread, go ring the doorbell and hug your neighbors.

 

Remember growing up on Ilimano Street? Wow. We were so amazingly lucky! Add it up - the Rankins, The McCoys, then the Allens; the Michauds, then the Suarez's; Lazloffy's, Kit, the Westnitzers, Rabinder, the Halls, Kate Tullis, the Rasmussens, the Sohs, Chris Silva, Bonus, Geoff Walker...along with the six of us Emersons, who am I forgetting?

 

Jonathan, Geoff and I created JobCo in the 5th Grade and began mowing lawns for the neighborhood. Our business venture even went as far as Ilihau Street!

 

We held our own Olympics. We raised money for Muscular Dystrophy and even made the Jerry Lewis Telethon on local television. We wrote, rehearsed and performed neighborhood plays - M*A*S*H, Bicentennial Laughs, Gutcrunch, all come to mind.... did we really slick our hair back with vaseline for American Graffitti?! 

 

We had our Bike Trails...we climbed Kings Chair, The Pill Boxes, The Water Tower...we played Little League, we skateboarded at Gutters, we made our own quarter-pipes. We had bike ramps, we'd "catamaran" on our skateboards down Ilimano Place and work as a team to stop traffic!

 

We had Play-Outs. Kick the Can. Here Comes the Judge. Hide-n-Seek. Truth and Dare.

 

And Fireworks. Remember all the firecrackers? Parties at the Soh's were the best!

 

We lived on our bikes. We ate shaved ice. We had the Ice Cream Truck that blared the Rolling Stones and sold Manapua. We had the Gully. Dirt Clod fights. The Drain. Mango fights. All-out water balloon fights. Sleepovers. Peeing in the McCoys pool and being deathly afraid the water was going to turn purple.

 

For us, this was 1972 - 1979. Minus a 6-month stint in the Philippines. Is it really true the people who rented our house during that time were in the Witness Protection Program??

 

We had a great neighborhood to grow up in. I'm not saying it was perfect. There was drama. But as a whole, and when comparing neighborhoods since, and the neighborhoods our own children are being raised in now - what do you think?

 

When Josh and Michele and I got to go back to Hawaii when Josh was nine years old - it was the best feeling in the world to return and as a father, play ball with my son, where I used to play ball. We climbed to King's Chair. We got to see Geoff. We hit HIC, my favorite skateboard store. We swam at Kailua Beach. We walked through St. Anthony's.

 

Our kids don't have anything like that now. They don't have the friends like we had. They don't have the Gully or King's Chair. They can't hop on their bikes and yell, "I'm riding my bike to Jonathan's house!" like they don't even need permission, they just need to let us know where they are going.

 

It is Sunday afternoon, if we were back in time, what would we be doing right now?

 

Think about our kids. Let's think about ourselves.

 

What is our sense of Neighborhood now? Do you have a sense of Community?

 

Do we know our neighbors?

 

Would our neighbors reach out to us if they needed something as simple as an egg or a ride to a doctor's appointment?

 

The idea behind this book kinda fired me up!

 

 

 

 

Evening Walk. and George.

 Sometimes, nothing welcomes a weekend like a Friday evening walk on the beach.


And then there's George. 





Good Days and Crappy Days

Each morning I say my prayers. Seriously, what is so hard to believe? I still do.

But surprisingly...

I think we all agree. Some days are good. Some days are crappy. Sometimes it is easy to get into a funk and think some days are crappy and some days, even some weeks are even crappier.

Don't get me wrong, I love where I am...but...

Today was one such funk.

I have good days at work. I have crappy days at work. Sometimes I have days at work that are kinda crappier than my crappy days at work.

Just sayin' today was one of those days. Today was pretty crappy.

BUT

When I got home, shoulders slouched and carrying in everthing and all discobobulated trying to operate the front door knob, I got greeted first by David with a big ol' hug - around my bent over neck, and then by Matthew, cutting off the circulation to my thigh.....

I am a pretty sappy guy. I pretty much wallow in the memory of every hug I get in the front yard coming home.

But like I said, today was kind of a crappier crappy day and for me to be barely 1 foot into my house and be greeted by David and then by Matthew was like Divine Intervention. It was huge. It was the best.

I don't have any pictures to share.

But if you can imagine how it feels to hold, to squeeze your kids for even one extra second longer than you normally would... to actually feel the temperature of their skin and the movement of them breathing and to actually smell their hair..... Then hey, you might recognize the overwhelmingly peace I am talking about?

Today may have been a pretty crappy day at work, but that was "Work."

Coming home, made today, a good day. Know what I mean? Don't you think it's weird that sometimes even the crappy days...turn into Good Days?

 Amazingly when you need them the most?

You think that sometimes that insomniac-like praying at 3am makes a difference?

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God I hope so.

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Backyard Birds

Cardinals have returned! With the hawks making this their territory, we hadn't seen "our" cardinals for quite some time. Within the last week though, we've been seeing them out and about now in the mornings and in the evening. Each time we see them, its like a visit from Grammy & Grampy. Not sure why I feel that way. But makes for a nice smile.

Happy Birthday, Mom! Hoping you have a great day with everyone over today. Sure wish I could be there! I love ya!

Birthday Weekend

I just want to say a quick Hello. I really enjoyed my Birthday weekend. It wasn't anything crazy. It was Family, it was Fun, it was Friends. July 14 is Bastille Day. I had a wonderful Bastille Day.

I woke early, caught sunrise, enjoyed first light hitting the pier, peed in the ocean, grilled steak & eggs for breakfast and watched the hawks on the patio. It was a really nice morning. 

Spent part of the day at a Trade Show in St. Augustine with my boss - short and quick, but spending time with him makes me think I can conquer the world. Bouncing around ideas with him is huge - he's like six steps ahead of me all the time. We had lunch in Neptune Beach - remember when Tom was here? He ran the kitchen at Papa Joes - it has changed hands many times since then and has just recently re-opened as North Beach Fish Camp. It was busy and it was good. Try it. Conch Fritters were fresh and light and my Oyster Po-Boy was way good. Portions weren't huge, but I didn't leave hungry.

Big smile for dinner Saturday night. Paul & Cheryl took us to Carraba's. The Seafood Canneloni was excellent. I like drinking wine with Paul & Cheryl. Altho, in retrospect, at 9am the next day, my head said it's not so fun drinking wine with Paul & Cheryl.

Sunday, I battled the train in my head and took the boys to the beach. We met Leslie, Donya and Brenda there. Me and David and Leslie played frisbee in the water. Matthew clung to me like a leach. Rip tide was strong and the beach has taken enough abuse that the bottom is not even - creating a pretty strong run out - Matthew was freaking,  keeping me on my toes watching the boys. Ended up having such a good time with them though, that I bailed on my "birthday" jam with Paul. Sorry about that.

David and Matthew collected seashells for my birthday. Why is it that something as simple as that can mean so much? I am smiling as I type that.

Me and the boys then hit Mellow Mushroom - our hippie 1970's pizza place for lunch. They are so much fun to hang out with.

Crazy thing this week was finally joining Facebook. It really added to the birthday weekend. Amazing how almost 30 years and 3000 miles in some cases, are erased within a couple of messages!

So now I am 47. I sure don't feel it. Seriously. 47. OK, so YOU go look in the mirror and say, "Carl is 47" and see how you feel...

Holy shit, huh?

I want to look ahead. Each year seems to go by quicker and quicker. Each year I hope will get financially better - but it only seems to surprise me how much more we struggle.

I miss Josh. I want to catch a Red Sox game with him. Uncle John will be eating baby food through a straw if I don't plan something soon enough - I really want to get a couple of kayaks wet and a couple of cold dark beers emptied with him. Hi Uncle John.  :)  I want to play frisbee golf with Tom and have my boys fish in his pond with Brady. I want to camp on "Mike's" property in Willington and go for a hay ride with my sons. I want to walk down Main Street to KD's library, all the cousins in tow. I want to have a cold beer in Newport with Kat and Mark. I want to sit on the deck overlooking Lake Bunggee with Dad and get a fire going in the fireplace with the Red Sox on NESN in the background. I want to drive to Ohio and have Lisa and her children rub off on our children. I want another Golden Retriever. And I think it'd be really cool to show up at Nana's with the boys, have her show them how to plant some seeds, maybe some daffodil bulbs, while I mow her lawn and trim the Hysteria Wysteria Bush that is taking over her yard and then end the afternoon with steaks on the grill and a couple of ice cold Yes Please's. Nothing is better than a mother's hug.

(except secretly, maybe Matthew's hug when I get home and he runs into my arms with a picture he drew for my birthday...not much can top that)

My Birthday at 47 was fun to enjoy, kinda frightening to look back on, but was actually kinda motivating when I realized a 100 people were reading my Facebook page.

47. Holy shit, huh?

Who feels old now?

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Sunday Afternoon in the Backyard

The two Cooper Hawks are more active. We see and hear them more and more. It's a hot Sunday afternoon - the heat index is up over 100 degrees - but the constant screaching brought us outdoors. There's a slight breeze - that helped. I grabbed the camera and wondered what I might be able to "see" on a hot Sunday afternoon from the patio....

As I'm downloading these pics to share with you, I have on Alice Peacock and the song is, "I'm Still Here." The refrain is a soft acoustic sound, "....isn't this amazing..."

 She sings this a few times over. I love her voice.

I know, I'm sappy for even trying to put the timing and the cosmic karma together between the pics and the songs, but you know what?

Admit it. Things aren't easy. I'm sure we are all going through something that has a way of making us feel like we just can't catch a break. But I'm still here. You are still there.

I look repeatedly at these pictures; David's honest smile and those piggy toes and the Hibiscus flower from a plant that I"ve killed ten times over.  As I slowly exhale, I smile and I whisper along with Alice Peacock, "....isn't this amazing..."

When we need a smile the most, we always seem to find one. All we have to do is look around.

Happy Sunday Afternoon from our patio to yours.

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